The invisible often overlooked signs of a toxic environment.
Here is what society does not tell you about a toxic environment; that one time you are questioning your sanity in that space and then in another you find yourself blinded to the very things you questioned and stood up against.
That is why I advocate for therapy. Black and White can help us put a finger to it but i kid you not , sometimes, its so gray, we end up confused by how an environment can look good on the outside, yet be intrinsically harmful.
Toxicity can come in many sizes, shapes and forms. Some are black and others white and others are downright gray, they end up confusing our minds.
If you find yourself struggling to find your true authentic voice in an environment, for example, one that you regard healthy, looks healthy, feels healthy, and ok to be in, you just might be in a toxic environment.
My theory comes from the fact that you don’t always see harmful bacteria in water for instance, but after ingesting such water, you normal body rhythm is interrupted and you become sick.
Here are other silent signs to look out for when determining if your environment is healthy or not and how to go from that environment to a better one.
- Your honest evaluation makes you realize your natural creative voice is silenced and therefore mummed.
Yep, you got on the bus happy and cheery and as a creative sharp ass person but now, you cant find that creative side of you anymore. If you recall, it all started by your idea being thrown by the sideways, then no support came in for your ideas and then to mark the death of it all, and after trying many times, your ideas were marked as “too unconventional” or “too wayward” or “idealized” and that was it. You stopped trying. Their ideas mattered more than yours and bam!
2. No-one around you dares to dream. Everyone has resulted in some form of complacency resulting in some form of mediocrity.
This is self explanatory. Do I have to elaborate? Of course Not. You just keep wondering why most of the team around you sounds boring .
3. When a policy is passed, you all agree to it no matter how impractical it feels. No one raises an opposing voice.
No-one, nada! You have all being subjected to some form of victimization that makes you fear to speak your minds.
4. You often feel helpless. Like you have no option as a result of the system.
Evaluating your environment is key.
We have to keep asking ourselves hard questions to help us recognize tiny signs of unhealthy surroundings.
Questions like, am I growing? Do I feel like am the best version of myself when am in this place or around these people? Am I challenged to aim for bigger and better things? Do I like to strive for excellence or have I settled for routine? Does this system encourage me to be a better me? And of course the question that makes the hairs on my face and arms stand all the time, Am I going to reach my potential?
We may not find answers to all these questions, but this is a good place to start.
I do not dispute the other side of the story that is, it is my responsibility to grow and become the best version of myself. My point is that our environment is also a contributor to how far we end up going.
That said, here are ways that can help you deal with this type of toxic environment.
- Leave.
If you have an option, leaving is often the best choice. Once you evaluate and realize that the toxic environment is killing your dreams and ambitions, leaving is the best way forward. This can mean your job or even leaving your friends. Sad to say, this may come at a great cost,(job loss and unpaid bills) so here are other ways to thrive.
2. Find your own sweet spot where you can voice your opinion without judgment.
Like writing for example is a good place to begin. Writing can help us speak our minds without judgment.
3. Confront the system.
For introverted people, this is the hardest part. Advocacy can get you into deep sh*t. It can cost you your job, it can drive a wedge among your colleagues, it can make you the least favorite to your boss resulting in no promotions but it can bring about wonderful results when used well and with intelligence.
This needs wisdom. You have to know when to scratch and when to nudge and of course, don’t bite. Remember, you are employed and you need to use wisdom in every way so that the things you are advocating for end up being implemented as opposed to being feuds and bitter clashes.
4. Create your own tiny community.
It's like having your favorite spot on a couch or your favorite room in your house. It's creating your small community of authentic fierce wonderful friends that help you kick ass. You will always find that one person whose mindset aligns with yours at least on a lot of things.
Life is not static. We always have a way out of unpleasant moments even bad environmental circumstances that often feel helpless, but when we look deeper, there is always an option.
